love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
