Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
