eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
