Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
this boner is exhausting
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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