Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
