areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
They have beer where we have blood.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
