we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
