I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
