@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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