Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
