yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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