i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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