i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just want to make out with him forever
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
