He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
17 year olds will be the death of me.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
