Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
