All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
that's an acceptable place to lick
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
