I hate all girls vehemently.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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