They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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