i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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