I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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