I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
