i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
