We're like a lot better than the average bears
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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