I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
