Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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