I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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