"it" just moved
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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