I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
