i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just want nice things and good sex
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
