I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
