weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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