: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
