he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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