Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
