i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
