i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
