Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
