The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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