direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
