STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
