I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
