people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
