lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
