I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
