she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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