how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
