I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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