there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
