Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
