ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I didn't notice because vodka
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
