A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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