She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
